some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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