"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
