the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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