She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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