PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I got inside last night via doggy door
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
