The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
