Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
