Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
