i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize