How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
