Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
