I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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