Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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