Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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