We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
