he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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