i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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