it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
