is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
