Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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