no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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