We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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