D3 body, D1 cock
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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