How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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