A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
