You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
