its not stalking. its research.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Randomize
