1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
