i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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