At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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