Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize