i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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