oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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