$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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