You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
