Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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