theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
