I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Small penises have feelings too.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize