So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
