I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
