nut hugger
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
