is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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