Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
It's official drugs can't kill me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
