you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
