I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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