Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize