when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
