I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
