I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Everyone says I win the strip club
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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