Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
