Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
His hands were made for my vagina.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
