I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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