Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
