u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
