so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize