i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
