I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
