it hurts more in the daytime
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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