toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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