I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
