broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
