So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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