it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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