Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
