and you said cock pushups were impossible
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
