I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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