The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
