k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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