I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
