It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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