Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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